Death Notice

A white hazy wall between us.

Unable to see each other, we weave a narrative that suits us.

I assume. You assume.

While we fight with our volatile self, we forget to notice that the wall is getting darker, stronger and concrete.

Extremely afraid to be the loser in the battle, we choose our egos over our love, pretence of indifference over our vulnerabilities.

I blame you, although I know I am at fault too. You blame me, although you know you are at fault too.

Or maybe Papi, we both didn't do anything wrong, we were just on different planes.

Trying very hard to protect ourselves, trying hard not to get hurt, we hurt ourselves again and again.

I wish it wasn't this way.

I wish we both would let each other see our bleeding hearts.

Our pain, our fears, our anger, our flaws, and our hostility. I wish we would give some space to ourselves to feel the unpredictabilities of our volatile emotions.

I wish we would grieve together for the loss of our beautiful relationship.

Let's be kind to one another. Let's be kind to our own selves.

This pain, my love?

It is going to fade away one day.

I am going to be left with your laughter ringing in my ears.

I am going to be left with the memory of those long walks when we walked with our hands entwined, without words but truly connected.

I am going to be left with the memory of that day on the balcony when the past or the future did not matter, that day when we discovered happiness in each other.

When the pain fades away, every painful memory is going to turn into an evocative nostalgia ride that will fill me with nothing but joy.

I wish we didn't built these walls, love.

I wish we knew how to just let go.